I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
