So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
