Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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