I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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