He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
