what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
