your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
