Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
