Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
