you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
