Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
