ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
