Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Me. At least after what I've been through.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
