he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I supernannyed him into submission
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Randomize
