holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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