i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
