My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I just found a bag of teeth...
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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