Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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