a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I think your dad took our porno
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
