well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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