When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
