there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
we're so committed to being not committed
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
