I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
