This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
