he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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