What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
