Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
