Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
