sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
