i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
