Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
