organizing the empties. That sober.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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