Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
