I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
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