apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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