Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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