3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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