it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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