69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
