There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
