Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
