I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
