She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
No stitches, just platelets and will power
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Even the bartender felt bad for me
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
