You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
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