i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
