dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
