Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
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