just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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