i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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