Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
